Random Thoughts

Okay, question, I say to Morrie. His bony fingers hold his glasses across his chest, which rises and falls with each labored breath.
“What’s the question?” he says.
Remember the Book of Job?
“From the Bible?”
Right. Job is a good man, but God makes him suffer. To test his faith.
“I remember.”
Takes away everything he has, his house, his money, his family……
“His health.”
Makes him sick.
“To test his faith.”
Right. To test his faith. So, I’m wondering……
“What are you wondering?”
What do you think about that?
Morrie coughs violently. His hands quiver as he drops them by his side.
“I think,” he says, smiling “God overdid it.”

This excerpt is taken from the book “Tuesdays with Morrie” this is one of the many things in the book that have made me think…
I often feel I’m having a phase where the angel who was supposed to be watching over me has gone on a vacation. Then something happens and I’m forced to open my eyes and look at the world around me and I realize that I need to be grateful for all I have… and I don’t complaint. But still there is someone out there suffering… does that person deserve it?! Or is it his fate to suffer?!

PS: I do believe on God… I’m just wondering…

Courage

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, courage is also what is take to sit down and listen!

FORGIVING....

To err is human, to forgive divine.
I wonder how much of this divinity exists in the world... do we actually forgive all those who hurt us... or do we just accept the situation and make a compromise. I mean I can forgive people I’d say, but I don't forget the hurt very easily. Once I say I have forgiven someone I never look back to the mistake, would never hold it against that person. But the experience just doesn't leave me... it might take years before it fades out... does it mean that I don't really forgive, I just accept the situation in a hope that the person is truly repenting and would not repeat the mistake. After all what has happened can't be reversed... but it can be mended... made up for. I guess that is what punishments are for?! But the idea of punishing someone isn't very appealing to me either…
There have been times when I have hurt the people around me... knowingly unknowingly... and sometimes I have been forgiven, sometimes I had to pay for my mistake. But I remember times I have been forgiven better... those times have left a mark on me. Cos when I make a mistake and get punished for it, I don't have any complaint... that becomes a closed chapter... I was wrong and got what I deserved. On the other hand when I’m forgiven I can't get over the guilt feeling, I try to make sure I don't make the same mistake again...
Before forgiving a person... I feel... we need to forgive ourselves too. We have to know that it's all right to make mistakes... and that it takes a lot of courage to admit a mistake. And once we can understand that, we can relate to the person's pain and forgive the person. I guess that is what makes forgiving so difficult... and this why forgiveness is the key to happiness. Every time I have forgiven someone, I have experienced a strange peace within me as if I have called a truce with myself...
But I wonder what does one do... if the person doesn't want forgiveness.... when we don't get a chance to end the battle we fight within us.... when we don't know whether to accept things as they are or react to them...

DREAMS AND ME....

"What is your wildest dream?" my friend asked me... I smiled at the question… and suddenly I’m lost... what is my wildest dream?! I had no answer to his question I couldn’t remember my dreams...
To my dismay I realized I had forgotten my dreams... the girl who had her own dream world, had lost her way trying to figure out the roads of mature thoughts n analysis...
I guess this happens to almost everyone... we forget ourselves in a race with time... n it's not about the hectic life today; it is about striking a balance between who you are n what you are expected to be. every person is an individual and has this wrong notion that he lives life on his own terms n conditions... but it is rarely so... every action, every step is inspired by an invisible force... we all want to feel accepted...
There’s a child within us who never grows up... it expresses itself in one way or the other... and our dreams are his strongest expression. the big yet simple thoughts... the goals that we decide as though nothing is impossible... the path that we choose as if nothing can scare us... that is the child-our true identity. but as we grow up, we succumb to norms of the society... we are scared that we might get lost in this big bad world... and hence begins our struggle for acceptance begins... the dreams are replaced by material needs... and the thoughts become mature and seek practicality...
Though I am glad that some of us are still able to live as children... with the same love for life, forgiveness for all and true enthusiasm to fulfill all our dreams. luckily such a person is my friend... our lack of practicality is what helps us relate to each other... and I want to thank him for making me feel comfortable bout being a dreamy kid in this world of mature grown-ups !!!!

MY FAVOURITE UNCLE....

my encounter with death...a few months back i lost a close friend... my uncle. i'll never forget the most active man i knew lying in bed surrounded by machines... a desperate attempt to keep him alive. i didn't even have the courage to stand there and see him forget about talking to him... i ran from there as if when i reach out of the ICU... he'll be there with his arms open for me... to hold me and tell me it's all a part of life.as a child i was very fond of this person who always made me laugh, gave me all the goodies i asked for... i loved him for loving me. when i grew up our conversations were limited to the phone talks and i was amazed at the ease with which he understood me though it had been years since he last saw me. then came a blessing he shifted back to our city and i got a chance to truly interact with him... i admired his knowledge, his faith in God and his ability to spread happiness and good will. he has been the only person other than my father who had answers to all my questions... i guess cos he loved me like his own daughter. he had a unique way of making me realise my mistakes... he was my magic man... he convinced my mother to lemme go out with my friends... he helped me study... he even argued with me as if we were the same age... little did i realise that he was teaching me to put forward my point in a dignified manner without offending the person in front. My faith in God is one of his numerous blessings.wherever he went he spread love and countless smiles... he could make friends with anyone no matter where he went... and he did. on the day of his funeral there were so many people around who we even though being his family had never seen... and each person had a story to tell about how he had helped them. i dont remember a single time that i had gone out with him and he wouldn't bump into someone he knew or some old friend. me and my friend nidhi used to be with him almost the whole day... talking uselessly, discussing big stuff, important issues, playing games... even analysing grown ups........ and now when i look back i see the valuable lessons he taught us.one unfortunate day... he tells me he has a cancerous patch in his lung... at the age of 21 both his kidneys had failed... he had to undergo a kidney transplant, and hence had to take immunosupressive drugs which helped his body accept the donated kidney.... probably one of the drugs had caused the malignancy..... chemotherapy was not advisable as with the immunosupressive drugs further depression of the bone marrow would have been fatal in itself..... and saw the sports champ take to bed within a week... so fast was the detoriation!! he was hospitalised on sunday... tuesday my aunt called me to the hospital to see him, she knew i hadnt come cos i was scared... i went to see him in the evening and at night a few minutes before 11... our family lost the smile bringer...

I WISH I COULD....

I WISH I COULD……
I wish I could walk with you
And show you the beauty of falling leaves
I wish I could hold you in the quiet lights of sunset
And share with you bustle of a new dawn
I wish I could take your hand
And walk on the long undulating road of life
I wish I could kiss you in the rain
And feel the heavens fall at my feet
I wish I could hear the whisperings of the wind
And hum with you the unheard melodies of nature
I wish I could feel your arms around me
And allow my heart to soar the skies
I wish I could touch your heart
And tell you… how special you are
I wish I could whisper my love to you
And once again hear… I love you too...

Once more....

Once more the unknown pleasure passes by
Once more a face in your heart glows
Once more a desire to be loved comes
Once more you long for your friends
Once more a thought makes you smile
Once more some sweet dream wakes you up at night
Once more all flattering seems true
Once more you feel good
Once more your soul is up in praise
Once more you the silver lining
And once more you wait for the clouds to pour
Hoping for happiness…but expecting sorrow
Good or bad… you’d never what fate has
So, once more you await a new milestone
Once more you wait… for another dream to break

When you loose faith in yourself
And things seem to be all-wrong
Remember life won’t always be fair
But you’d have to be forever strong
When all doors seem to be closed
And life doesn’t give a second chance
There would be a new adventure in store
There would be a new precedence on hand
When failure seems to be fate
And all the efforts fritter away
There would be a new lesson learned
You’d find a new way
When the night is the darkest
Be sure dawn would soon be here
When you feel all your strength is lost
Trust yourself a little longer………
Cos that’s when success is near.

The last entry was way too pessimistic... so here's something better. I had written this poem as my response to a poem one of my friends had given me... though i never got a chance to show this too my friend... but anyways here it is...

Why don’t we look back again
I feel we are missing the rhymes
The story of every breadth has been heard
And still we found no purpose served

How come you already knew?
What life was going to teach you…?
And for the makers of the blurting stuff
Decoding all that must’ve been tough
They found their purpose and so will you
Even if small, it won’t mean you don’t need to

Like it or not life’s no theory
There’ll be more than existence to this story
Live it for once and not just pretend
You’ll love the support they’ll extend

You knew the fittest survives
In this world you’ll have to strive
And they prey for your courage
That u be the fittest
But you lost yourself and failed the test
Remember you are the king
You own those wings
There are waves you can’t leave behind
But that doesn’t mean you’ll never rise you’d never shine…

Hate and anguish deceived the code of divine
And you killed your powers with that wine
How do you even ask for a shrine?
You are the king you can’t leave them behind
The lesson is half learnt the I alone doesn’t stand
We have to walk together hand in hand
With joy and sorrow
We make our way to a better tomorrow
Even if a fading one life remains a mystery… I guess you’ll agree too
And you are a warrior wouldn’t you like to fight through
The betrayal and the injustice and those lies within you
Go for it man you got to get your dues too…………

We can’t live life on our terms and conditions
Life is the challenger let it offer the complications
Setting your trends is the goal
Don’t follow the winners what they give is not your own

Trust yourself and the scenario will change
And when your son would come saying life’s strange
You’ll know you don’t have to guide him through this ocean
But set him free to find his own explanations
Of why people lose the sight
Why they forget in this world you have to fight for your right
Let him know he needn’t follow the crowd
At least save him from the inner conflict that nearly had you drowned

Happiness isn’t a molecule and you know it too
Give you son the faith, which lacked in you
And you’ll get the worth of it all
When you Dad would say“Sunny… you did a great job………”

WHY DO I WISH TO FIGHT

It's pessimistic i know... but im sure everyone feels this at some or other time...

WHY DO I WISH TO FIGHT
Heartless as I seem to be
The whole world stands against me
I know I’m wrong
I know I’m not strong
Then why do I wish to fight?
Try and gather all my might

All looks blank a dark cloud leads
To my pleas there's no one to heed
No reason to live
But the will to survive
Why do I wish to fight?
Try and gather all my might

Living is past death is future
Till when this existence can I nurture
No shoulder to cry
No wings to fly
Why do I wish to fight?
Try and gather all my might

Wishes are dead feelings are hard
No will no tear in my heart
My eyes have gone dry
Nothing can make me
Why do I wish to fight?
Try and gather all my might

No reason to live but the will to survive
Why do I wish to fight?
Try and gather all my might

My First Poem!

My first poem.....

I LOVE YOU………… I NEED YOU
I remember those old days
When you were by my side
You were there when I cried
My tears trickled on your cheeks
My joys played in your eyes

I was your life your love you said
So you said you cared
And those assurances… and promises
Has it become a dream for you?
A mere thought… a dream

If not then why am I alone in the crowd?
Why am I feeling deserted?
You’d said you love me and need me
I say I love you… I need you…

Sometimes

SOMETIMES.....
Sometimes we forget that god is good
And he is watching over us
Sometimes we forget that we aren't alone
And there are people who can't do without us
Sometimes we forget that everyone is special
And that we can only shape the raw realities
Sometimes we forget that we all have a purpose
And that the biggest journey starts with a step
Sometimes we forget how much we love each other
And that we are still together
Sometimes we forget that we've survived a lot
And that even this will get over someday
Sometimes we forget that there are no tomorrows
And that each passing moment can be a treasured memory
So if you think that you have all odds against you
Remember that no matter what you have to fight through
And if you feel tired, lost and ready to give up
Turn around and I’ll be there to reassure you
And tell you that I love you................

Tell What Is Living To You

I had written this back in the 11th std.

TELL ME WHAT IS LIVING ALL ABOUT
Is it about the countless smiles?
Or faith on people separated by miles
Is it love of a friend?
Or a trust that will never end
Tell me what is living all about

Friends for keepsAnd shoulders to weep
Is it facing all problems
Or just filling the empty columns
With laughter and tears
Hopes and fears
Is it meddling with faith and destiny?
Or just accepting life’s mutiny
Tell what is living all about

Is it having all you want and none to share?
Or sharing all and yet no one around to care
Is it a dream of the future?
Or hope from the past
Tell me what is living all about

Is it assuming all to be fair and true?
Or helping people through their blues
Is it the laughter that lightens the pain?
Or the tears that pour in vain
Tell me what is living all about

Tell me your hopes and dreams
Let me know the world you see
The sorrow and the pain you bear
The laughter and jest you share
Tell what to you is living all about

Simple ways to vlunteer

I had written this article for an organisation called AID... though i'm not the active member but i would surely like to work for the cause...
Here's the article....

My mother often tells me a story she read somewhere... about a man who picked up star fish brought on shore by high tide and threw them back in to the sea one by one. He knew he couldn't throw back all the fishes that were brought on shore by the tide, but he also knew he made a difference to each one he threw back.
The concept is so simple that we tend to overlook it. We don't realize how valuable our small gestures can be to someone. The first practical example I saw of this, was my grandfather, he used to distribute sweets to the children in the slums and helped the people there in whatever way he could, sometimes giving them money or things like clothes, even old furniture. You should've seen the way those children greeted him and the way their love warmed his heart... and ours too, they loved him and we loved them for it. This is simple isn't it?
You don't need to donate money to help; you need to give a bit of yourself. And trust me it's a wonderful feeling, when you realize that you have the ability to make someone smile.
I have seen so many people help the less fortunate. Some donate clothes to orphanages and home for the elderly. And trust me they look forward to their monthly visits to these places. It's an unforgettable experience each time. We admire such people, and sometimes envy them for the respect they get. Almost each one of us is deeply moved by the dreadful scenario of the slums, but unfortunately we never do anything about it. We feel who are we and what can we do to help these people...it would be good enough if we could help ourselves. Well.... when we call them less fortunate then obviously we have more than them and we are capable of helping them out in whatever little way we can.
There are a million ways in which we can help, and donating things and money to non profit organizations like AID is just one of it. Remember the idea is to open your heart to someone else and make a place for ourselves in their heart. It might almost seem effortless once we all start doing our bit. And yes not to forget our pet problem time... I think that God will never give us a day when we have time for everything. We got to make our own time for the things we want to do from the 24 hours on our hand, and in this case it’s for the things we need to do.
Remember as children we never had to make an effort to help anyone. Do you realize why... because we had empathy for our fellow beings. We didn't look down on anyone; we never thought of it as giving we shared things. Those people don't need our sympathy they need us to share a little bit of our fortune with them...