Random Thoughts

Okay, question, I say to Morrie. His bony fingers hold his glasses across his chest, which rises and falls with each labored breath.
“What’s the question?” he says.
Remember the Book of Job?
“From the Bible?”
Right. Job is a good man, but God makes him suffer. To test his faith.
“I remember.”
Takes away everything he has, his house, his money, his family……
“His health.”
Makes him sick.
“To test his faith.”
Right. To test his faith. So, I’m wondering……
“What are you wondering?”
What do you think about that?
Morrie coughs violently. His hands quiver as he drops them by his side.
“I think,” he says, smiling “God overdid it.”

This excerpt is taken from the book “Tuesdays with Morrie” this is one of the many things in the book that have made me think…
I often feel I’m having a phase where the angel who was supposed to be watching over me has gone on a vacation. Then something happens and I’m forced to open my eyes and look at the world around me and I realize that I need to be grateful for all I have… and I don’t complaint. But still there is someone out there suffering… does that person deserve it?! Or is it his fate to suffer?!

PS: I do believe on God… I’m just wondering…

Courage

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, courage is also what is take to sit down and listen!

FORGIVING....

To err is human, to forgive divine.
I wonder how much of this divinity exists in the world... do we actually forgive all those who hurt us... or do we just accept the situation and make a compromise. I mean I can forgive people I’d say, but I don't forget the hurt very easily. Once I say I have forgiven someone I never look back to the mistake, would never hold it against that person. But the experience just doesn't leave me... it might take years before it fades out... does it mean that I don't really forgive, I just accept the situation in a hope that the person is truly repenting and would not repeat the mistake. After all what has happened can't be reversed... but it can be mended... made up for. I guess that is what punishments are for?! But the idea of punishing someone isn't very appealing to me either…
There have been times when I have hurt the people around me... knowingly unknowingly... and sometimes I have been forgiven, sometimes I had to pay for my mistake. But I remember times I have been forgiven better... those times have left a mark on me. Cos when I make a mistake and get punished for it, I don't have any complaint... that becomes a closed chapter... I was wrong and got what I deserved. On the other hand when I’m forgiven I can't get over the guilt feeling, I try to make sure I don't make the same mistake again...
Before forgiving a person... I feel... we need to forgive ourselves too. We have to know that it's all right to make mistakes... and that it takes a lot of courage to admit a mistake. And once we can understand that, we can relate to the person's pain and forgive the person. I guess that is what makes forgiving so difficult... and this why forgiveness is the key to happiness. Every time I have forgiven someone, I have experienced a strange peace within me as if I have called a truce with myself...
But I wonder what does one do... if the person doesn't want forgiveness.... when we don't get a chance to end the battle we fight within us.... when we don't know whether to accept things as they are or react to them...

DREAMS AND ME....

"What is your wildest dream?" my friend asked me... I smiled at the question… and suddenly I’m lost... what is my wildest dream?! I had no answer to his question I couldn’t remember my dreams...
To my dismay I realized I had forgotten my dreams... the girl who had her own dream world, had lost her way trying to figure out the roads of mature thoughts n analysis...
I guess this happens to almost everyone... we forget ourselves in a race with time... n it's not about the hectic life today; it is about striking a balance between who you are n what you are expected to be. every person is an individual and has this wrong notion that he lives life on his own terms n conditions... but it is rarely so... every action, every step is inspired by an invisible force... we all want to feel accepted...
There’s a child within us who never grows up... it expresses itself in one way or the other... and our dreams are his strongest expression. the big yet simple thoughts... the goals that we decide as though nothing is impossible... the path that we choose as if nothing can scare us... that is the child-our true identity. but as we grow up, we succumb to norms of the society... we are scared that we might get lost in this big bad world... and hence begins our struggle for acceptance begins... the dreams are replaced by material needs... and the thoughts become mature and seek practicality...
Though I am glad that some of us are still able to live as children... with the same love for life, forgiveness for all and true enthusiasm to fulfill all our dreams. luckily such a person is my friend... our lack of practicality is what helps us relate to each other... and I want to thank him for making me feel comfortable bout being a dreamy kid in this world of mature grown-ups !!!!

MY FAVOURITE UNCLE....

my encounter with death...a few months back i lost a close friend... my uncle. i'll never forget the most active man i knew lying in bed surrounded by machines... a desperate attempt to keep him alive. i didn't even have the courage to stand there and see him forget about talking to him... i ran from there as if when i reach out of the ICU... he'll be there with his arms open for me... to hold me and tell me it's all a part of life.as a child i was very fond of this person who always made me laugh, gave me all the goodies i asked for... i loved him for loving me. when i grew up our conversations were limited to the phone talks and i was amazed at the ease with which he understood me though it had been years since he last saw me. then came a blessing he shifted back to our city and i got a chance to truly interact with him... i admired his knowledge, his faith in God and his ability to spread happiness and good will. he has been the only person other than my father who had answers to all my questions... i guess cos he loved me like his own daughter. he had a unique way of making me realise my mistakes... he was my magic man... he convinced my mother to lemme go out with my friends... he helped me study... he even argued with me as if we were the same age... little did i realise that he was teaching me to put forward my point in a dignified manner without offending the person in front. My faith in God is one of his numerous blessings.wherever he went he spread love and countless smiles... he could make friends with anyone no matter where he went... and he did. on the day of his funeral there were so many people around who we even though being his family had never seen... and each person had a story to tell about how he had helped them. i dont remember a single time that i had gone out with him and he wouldn't bump into someone he knew or some old friend. me and my friend nidhi used to be with him almost the whole day... talking uselessly, discussing big stuff, important issues, playing games... even analysing grown ups........ and now when i look back i see the valuable lessons he taught us.one unfortunate day... he tells me he has a cancerous patch in his lung... at the age of 21 both his kidneys had failed... he had to undergo a kidney transplant, and hence had to take immunosupressive drugs which helped his body accept the donated kidney.... probably one of the drugs had caused the malignancy..... chemotherapy was not advisable as with the immunosupressive drugs further depression of the bone marrow would have been fatal in itself..... and saw the sports champ take to bed within a week... so fast was the detoriation!! he was hospitalised on sunday... tuesday my aunt called me to the hospital to see him, she knew i hadnt come cos i was scared... i went to see him in the evening and at night a few minutes before 11... our family lost the smile bringer...